Asian Funeral Traditions: Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, and More

A guide to the funeral customs of Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, and Japanese cultures, including what to expect, what to wear, and how to show respect.

By Terry Feely|Former Firefighter and Paramedic|April 2026

Chinese Funeral Traditions

Chinese funeral traditions are shaped by centuries of Confucian, Buddhist, and Taoist belief. White is the color of mourning in Chinese culture, and family members and close guests traditionally wear white or muted colors. The wake typically lasts between three and seven days and may be held at a funeral home, temple, or the family residence. Incense is burned continuously, and joss paper, also known as spirit money, is folded and burned as an offering to provide for the deceased in the afterlife.

An altar is set up with the deceased's photograph, flowers, candles, and food offerings. The food is meant to nourish the spirit on its journey, and it may include rice, fruit, roasted meats, and tea. Visitors approach the altar, bow, and offer incense as a sign of respect. A Buddhist or Taoist monk may be present to chant sutras and lead prayers throughout the wake and funeral service.

Burial has traditionally been preferred in Chinese culture, as the integrity of the body is considered important for the afterlife. However, cremation has become increasingly common, particularly among younger generations and in urban areas. The mourning period can extend for up to 100 days, during which family members may wear a colored patch on their sleeve to indicate their relationship to the deceased.

Korean Funeral Traditions

Korean funerals traditionally last three days, during which family and friends visit the bereaved family to pay their respects. In modern Korea, most funerals take place in hospital funeral halls rather than in the family home, and these facilities provide rooms for the wake, the funeral service, and meals for guests. Visitors bow deeply to the deceased and to the family as a sign of respect.

Traditionally, close family members wore white hemp mourning garments called sangbok. While this practice has become less common in urban settings, some families, particularly in rural areas, still observe it. Guests are expected to wear dark, conservative clothing. Upon arriving, visitors typically offer a monetary gift in a white envelope, which helps offset the cost of the funeral.

After the funeral service, the body is either buried or cremated. Cremation rates in South Korea have risen dramatically in recent decades and now exceed burial rates. For families that choose burial, the gravesite is typically visited on Chuseok (the autumn harvest festival) and on the anniversary of the death for memorial ceremonies that include offerings of food and drink.

Vietnamese Funeral Traditions

Vietnamese funeral traditions are deeply influenced by Buddhism and Confucianism, with an emphasis on filial piety and respect for ancestors. The ceremony typically spans multiple days and centers around an elaborate altar decorated with the deceased's photograph, incense, candles, fresh flowers, and food offerings. Buddhist monks chant prayers at regular intervals throughout the wake and funeral, guiding the spirit of the deceased toward a peaceful transition.

Family members traditionally wear white headbands and white garments as a sign of mourning. The eldest son plays a particularly important role in leading rituals and paying respects on behalf of the family. Visitors offer incense at the altar and bow to the deceased and the family. A funeral procession to the burial site or crematorium may include chanting, music, and a line of mourners walking behind the hearse.

The mourning period in Vietnamese tradition is extensive. The family may observe mourning for 100 days, during which certain activities and celebrations are avoided. Memorial ceremonies are held on the 49th day, the 100th day, and annually on the anniversary of the death. These ongoing rituals reflect the belief that the relationship with the deceased continues beyond death and that honoring ancestors is a lifelong responsibility.

Japanese Funeral Traditions

Japanese funerals are predominantly Buddhist ceremonies, reflecting the fact that Buddhism has been the primary religion for end of life rituals in Japan for centuries. Cremation is the standard practice, with over 99% of the deceased being cremated. The funeral process typically begins with a wake called tsuya, held the evening before the funeral, where family and close friends gather to pay their respects and share a meal.

The funeral service itself is led by a Buddhist priest who chants sutras and burns incense. Guests offer incense at the altar and place flowers near the casket. After the service, the body is taken to a crematorium. Following cremation, a unique ceremony called kotsuage takes place, in which family members use chopsticks to pick bone fragments from the ashes and place them into an urn. This is done in pairs, and the fragments are transferred from chopstick to chopstick, a practice that is uniquely associated with funeral rites.

Guests at a Japanese funeral traditionally wear black. Women wear black dresses or kimono, and men wear black suits with white shirts and black ties. A monetary gift called koden is given in a special black and white envelope. The amount varies depending on the guest's relationship to the deceased, typically ranging from 5,000 to 30,000 yen.

What to Wear as a Guest

For most Asian funerals, dark and conservative clothing is the standard expectation for guests. Black is universally appropriate across Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, and Japanese funeral traditions. Men should wear dark suits with white shirts and dark ties. Women should wear dark dresses, skirts, or pantsuits in subdued colors. Avoid anything flashy, revealing, or overly casual.

The most important rule to remember is to avoid wearing red. In Chinese culture, red is the color of celebration, happiness, and good fortune. Wearing red to a Chinese funeral is considered deeply disrespectful. This taboo is also observed in Vietnamese and Korean contexts, though less strictly. When in doubt, stick to black, white, gray, or navy.

If you are attending as a guest from a different cultural background, dressing conservatively and in dark colors will always be appropriate. If the family has communicated specific dress instructions, follow them. Otherwise, err on the side of formality and restraint.

What to Bring

At Chinese, Korean, and Vietnamese funerals, it is customary to bring a monetary gift in a white envelope. The money is intended to help the family offset the cost of the funeral and is a standard expression of sympathy and support. The amount typically depends on your relationship to the deceased, with closer relationships warranting larger gifts. Common amounts range from $50 to $200 in the United States.

At Japanese funerals, the monetary gift is called koden and is presented in a special funeral envelope available at convenience stores and stationery shops. The amount follows established social norms based on the relationship between the giver and the deceased. White chrysanthemums and lilies are appropriate flowers for most Asian funerals.

Do not bring food unless the family has specifically requested it. In most Asian funeral traditions, the family and the temple or funeral home handle all food and offerings. If you are unsure about what to bring or how much to give, asking a mutual friend or family member for guidance is perfectly acceptable.

What Not to Do

There are several important things to avoid at an Asian funeral. Do not wear red to a Chinese funeral, as it symbolizes joy and celebration and is considered deeply inappropriate in a mourning context. This applies to clothing, accessories, and even lipstick or nail polish. Other bright colors should also be avoided.

Do not refuse food or drink that is offered to you. In many Asian cultures, sharing food at a funeral is a meaningful ritual, and declining can be perceived as disrespectful. Even if you are not hungry, accepting a small portion shows appreciation for the family's hospitality. Do not point at the altar, the photograph of the deceased, or the casket, as pointing is considered rude in many Asian cultures.

Avoid taking photographs unless the family has given explicit permission. Do not use your phone during the service. Do not leave the service early unless absolutely necessary, and if you must leave, do so quietly and without drawing attention. When in doubt about any custom, observe what others are doing and follow their lead.

How Traditions Vary by Generation

Asian funeral traditions are evolving as younger generations balance cultural heritage with modern life. First-generation immigrants often maintain traditional practices closely, including extended wake periods, elaborate altar setups, and formal mourning periods. Second and third generation families may modify these traditions to fit their circumstances, blending elements from their ancestral culture with American funeral customs.

For example, younger Chinese American families may hold a shorter wake and opt for cremation rather than burial, while still burning incense and joss paper as offerings. Korean American families may hold the funeral at a funeral home rather than a hospital funeral hall, but still observe the three-day tradition and the giving of monetary gifts. Vietnamese American families may invite both a Buddhist monk and a Christian pastor if the family includes members of both faiths.

The key insight is that there is no single "right" way to observe any of these traditions. Families adapt their customs to reflect their own beliefs, resources, and relationship to their cultural heritage. As a guest, the most respectful approach is to follow the family's lead and avoid making assumptions about what they should or should not be doing.

Frequently asked questions

What are Chinese funeral traditions?

Chinese funeral traditions are deeply rooted in Confucian, Buddhist, and Taoist beliefs. White is the color of mourning, and guests typically wear white or muted colors. The wake usually lasts three to seven days and takes place at a funeral home or the family home. Incense and joss paper (spirit money) are burned as offerings to the deceased, and food is placed at the altar for the spirit's journey. A funeral procession may include a marching band, and burial has traditionally been preferred over cremation, though this is changing in modern times. Mourning periods can last up to 100 days, during which family members may wear a patch of cloth on their sleeve to signal their grief.

What do you wear to a Korean funeral?

At a Korean funeral, guests typically wear dark, conservative clothing. Black suits for men and dark dresses or suits for women are standard. Traditionally, close family members of the deceased wear white hemp mourning garments called sangbok, though this practice is becoming less common in modern Korean funerals held at hospital funeral halls. Guests should avoid wearing red, as it is associated with celebrations and is considered inappropriate for a funeral. Subdued, respectful attire is always the safest choice.

What happens at a Vietnamese funeral?

A Vietnamese funeral is typically a multi-day event influenced by Buddhist and Confucian traditions. The family sets up an elaborate altar with the deceased's photograph, incense, candles, flowers, and food offerings. Monks may chant prayers throughout the ceremony, and visitors pay their respects by bowing before the altar and offering incense. The funeral procession to the burial site is often accompanied by music and chanting. Family members traditionally wear white headbands and garments, and the mourning period may last 100 days or longer. The family gathers on specific anniversaries of the death for memorial ceremonies.

What should a non-Asian guest know before attending?

If you are attending an Asian funeral from a different cultural background, the most important things to know are: dress conservatively in dark colors and avoid wearing red, especially at Chinese funerals. Bring a monetary gift in a white envelope for Chinese, Korean, and Vietnamese funerals, as this is customary and helps offset funeral costs. Bow respectfully when greeting the family and when approaching the altar. Accept any food or drink offered to you, as refusing can be considered rude. Follow the lead of other guests for standing, sitting, and bowing. Do not point at the altar or the photograph of the deceased. If you are unsure about a specific custom, quietly ask a family member or friend beforehand. Your respectful presence is what matters most.