How to Write an Obituary: A Complete Guide + Free AI Obituary Writer

Writing an obituary for someone you cared about is one of the harder writing tasks you will ever face. You are trying to fit a whole person into a few paragraphs, often within days of losing them, often while running on no sleep. Here is a simple structure that works.

The Essential Information

Every obituary opens with the same core facts. The standard formula for the first sentence is: "[Full Legal Name], [age], of [City, State], passed away [day of week or date] at [location or circumstances]." This single sentence tells the reader who died, how old they were, where they lived, and when it happened.

Include the date and place of birth in the first or second sentence. If the person used a maiden name, include it in parentheses after the first name: "Margaret Ellen (Sullivan) Thompson." Nicknames go in quotation marks after the first name: "James 'Jimmy' Robert Mitchell." For veterans, military rank precedes the name: "Staff Sergeant William J. Carter, U.S. Army (Ret.)."

Whether to include the cause of death is entirely the family's decision. There is no requirement. Many families use phrases like "after a long illness," "unexpectedly," or "surrounded by family" to communicate context without specifics. Religious families sometimes write "went to be with the Lord" or "returned to Heavenly Father." All of these are appropriate.

The Life Summary

This is the heart of the obituary. Follow a loose chronological structure: birthplace and parents, childhood and education, marriage, career, community involvement, hobbies and passions. For a newspaper obituary, aim for 100 to 150 words in this section. For an online obituary, you have room to go longer.

The most common mistake in this section is writing in generalities. "She enjoyed gardening" tells the reader nothing distinctive. "She had the only rose garden in Brentwood that bloomed into November" creates a picture. Specific details are what people remember. Instead of "he was a devoted teacher," write "he taught ninth-grade algebra at Franklin High School for 28 years and coached the girls' basketball team to three regional titles."

One strong paragraph can capture a life. Here is an example:

The Survivors

The survivors section follows a strict traditional order: surviving spouse first, then children listed in birth order (with their spouses), then grandchildren, then great-grandchildren, then surviving parents (if applicable), then siblings. Each person is typically listed with their city and state.

The standard phrasing is: "She is survived by her husband, Thomas R. Thompson of Brentwood, TN; children, Elizabeth (Michael) Davis of Nashville, TN, Robert (Sarah) Thompson of Atlanta, GA, and Catherine Thompson of Austin, TX; six grandchildren; and one great-grandchild."

Step-children, in-laws, and close nieces and nephews are included at the family's discretion. Ex-spouses are typically omitted unless the family specifically requests inclusion. A separate line covers those who preceded the deceased in death: "She was preceded in death by her parents, Robert and Dorothy Sullivan, and her brother, James R. Sullivan."

Including pets in obituaries is a modern trend. It is increasingly common in online obituaries and celebration-of-life announcements, though less common in traditional newspaper obituaries. If the deceased had a beloved companion animal, a brief mention at the end of the survivors list is acceptable.

The Service Information

Include the specific date, time, and location for each event: visitation (sometimes called calling hours), funeral service or memorial service, graveside committal, and any reception afterward. Use the full address of the funeral home and cemetery so readers can navigate there directly.

Example format: "Visitation will be held Friday, May 17, from 4:00 to 7:00 PM at Williamson Memorial Funeral Home, 3009 Columbia Avenue, Franklin, TN 37064. A funeral Mass will be celebrated Saturday, May 18, at 10:00 AM at St. Philip Catholic Church, 113 2nd Avenue South, Franklin, TN. Burial will follow at Williamson Memorial Gardens."

For private services, write: "A private family service will be held. A celebration of life for friends and community will be announced at a later date." If a livestream is available, include the URL or note that it will be available through the funeral home's website.

An Optional Closing

The closing is where the obituary becomes personal. The most common element is a memorial donation request: "In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to the American Cancer Society" or "Donations in Margaret's memory may be made to Vanderbilt Children's Hospital." Choose an organization that meant something to the deceased.

Many families add acknowledgments: "The family wishes to thank the nurses and staff of Alive Hospice for their compassionate care during Margaret's final weeks." Others close with a favorite quote, saying, or Bible verse the deceased lived by. Christian closings often include "In God's care" or a scripture reference. Jewish obituaries may close with "May her memory be a blessing." Muslim obituaries often include "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un" (To God we belong and to Him we return).

If the deceased had a saying they repeated often, a line they were known for, or a philosophy they lived by, this is where it goes. It should feel like the last word belongs to them, not to you.

Example Opening Lines

Three Complete Obituary Examples

Example 1: Short Newspaper-Style Obituary (~75 words)

Example 2: Traditional Newspaper Obituary (~200 words)

Example 3: Modern Celebration-of-Life Style (~250 words)

Common Mistakes to Avoid

How Much Does It Cost to Publish an Obituary?

Newspaper obituary costs vary widely by market. In smaller cities, expect $200 to $500. In major metropolitan papers (New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune), costs can reach $1,000 to $1,500 or more. Most newspapers charge by the word or by the line, with photos adding $25 to $100 extra.

Funeral home websites typically publish obituaries at no additional charge as part of their services. Legacy.com, the largest online obituary aggregator, publishes obituaries submitted by partner funeral homes. Many families publish a shorter version in the newspaper to manage cost and a longer, more personal version online for free.

What drives cost: total word count (the biggest factor), photo inclusion, the specific newspaper, day of week (Sunday editions cost more in some markets), and geographic market size. If budget is a concern, write the online version first at whatever length you want, then edit it down for the newspaper.