Pre-Planning a Funeral: Why It Matters and How to Do It

I never understood how hard end-of-life decisions were until I was the one making them for someone I loved. I had responded to hundreds of deaths as a paramedic. I knew what the first hour looked like from the outside. None of that prepared me for the inside of it.

Pre-planning a funeral is one of the most genuinely generous things you can do for the people who will grieve you. Here is why it matters and how to actually do it.

What Pre-Planning Is

Pre-planning means recording your wishes for your funeral or memorial service before they are needed. At its simplest, it is a written document that tells your family what you want. At its most complete, it is a contract with a funeral home that locks in today's prices for services to be delivered in the future -- called a pre-need arrangement.

Why It Matters

Families who have no information about a loved one's wishes spend a significant portion of the funeral planning process making decisions they are not sure are right. Families who have even a basic set of recorded wishes -- burial vs cremation, type of service, specific songs or readings -- describe a meaningfully different experience.

The Basic Document

You do not need a funeral home or an attorney to record your basic wishes. Cover: whether you prefer burial or cremation, what type of service you want, where you want to be buried or what should happen to your ashes, any specific readings or music, and who should be notified first. Tell someone where this document is. Put a copy with your will.

Pre-Need Funeral Arrangements

A pre-need arrangement goes further. You work with a funeral home to select and pay for services in advance, locking in current prices. Funds are held in a trust or insurance policy regulated by state law. Read the contract carefully. Confirm the arrangement is transferable if you move. Compare at least two funeral homes before signing.

A Note on Veterans

If you are a veteran, applying for VA Pre-Need Burial Eligibility now is one of the most useful things you can do. See our VA Pre-Need Eligibility guide for the full process.

Find funeral homes near you at funeralhomedirectories.com.