Non-Religious Funeral Options: Planning a Secular Service

What Is a Secular Funeral

A secular funeral is a funeral service that does not include religious prayers, scripture readings, hymns, or references to an afterlife. Instead, the service focuses entirely on the life of the person who died, their relationships, their accomplishments, and the impact they had on the people around them. The content is personal, specific, and drawn from the actual experiences of the deceased and their loved ones.

Secular funerals are appropriate for people who were not religious, who identified as atheist or agnostic, or who simply preferred that their memorial focus on their life rather than on theology. They are also a good option for families with mixed religious backgrounds who want a service that feels inclusive to everyone in attendance.

A secular funeral can be just as formal and structured as a religious one, or it can be relaxed and informal. The tone, setting, and content are entirely up to the family. What defines it is not what it lacks but what it emphasizes: the real, lived life of the person being remembered.

How a Non-Religious Funeral Differs

The most obvious difference is the absence of religious content. There are no prayers, no scripture readings, no hymns, and no references to God, heaven, or an afterlife unless the family specifically chooses to include them. The service is built around the person rather than around a religious framework or liturgical order.

In a religious funeral, the structure typically follows a set liturgy that includes specific prayers, readings, and rituals prescribed by the faith tradition. In a secular funeral, there is no prescribed order of service. The family and officiant design the ceremony from scratch, choosing the elements that feel most meaningful and arranging them in whatever order works best.

This freedom can feel liberating for some families and overwhelming for others. If you are not sure where to start, a funeral celebrant can guide you through the planning process and help you create a service that feels right. The lack of a fixed template does not mean the service has to be disorganized. It simply means you have more choices.

Who Leads a Secular Service

A secular funeral can be led by a professional celebrant, a humanist officiant, a funeral director, a friend, or a family member. Certified funeral celebrants are trained specifically to create and lead personalized, non-religious ceremonies. They meet with the family beforehand to learn about the deceased and then craft a service that tells that person's story.

Humanist celebrants are affiliated with humanist organizations and are trained to lead ceremonies rooted in humanist values, which emphasize the significance of human experience and compassion without reference to the supernatural. Both funeral celebrants and humanist celebrants charge fees for their services, typically ranging from $300 to $800.

Having a friend or family member lead the service is another popular option and can add a deeply personal touch. If you go this route, choose someone who is comfortable speaking in front of a group and who can manage the emotional weight of the occasion. It helps to have a written script or detailed outline so the leader can stay on track even if emotions run high.

What to Include Instead of Religious Elements

A secular funeral can include any combination of the following elements, arranged in whatever order feels right for the family:

• Eulogies and personal tributes: One or more speakers share memories, stories, and reflections about the deceased. This is often the centerpiece of a secular service.
• Readings from literature or poetry: Poems, excerpts from novels, philosophical passages, or personal writings by the deceased can be read aloud by family or friends.
• Music: Recorded songs or live performances of music that was meaningful to the deceased. This can include any genre, from classical to rock to folk.
• Photo or video presentations: A slideshow of photographs or a video compilation set to music can provide a visual tribute to the person's life.
• Moments of silence: A brief period of quiet reflection can serve a similar purpose to prayer, allowing attendees to honor the deceased in their own way.
• Symbolic rituals: Candle lighting, flower placement, releasing of butterflies, or other non-religious rituals can add ceremony and beauty to the service.

Non-Religious Music and Readings

Music is one of the most powerful elements of any funeral service, and a secular funeral opens the door to the entire spectrum of recorded and live music. Popular songs, classical compositions, jazz standards, folk songs, and pieces from film soundtracks are all appropriate. Choose music that the deceased loved or that captures something essential about who they were.

For readings, consider poetry by authors like Mary Oliver, Wendell Berry, W.H. Auden, or Christina Rossetti. Passages from beloved novels or nonfiction books can also work beautifully. If the deceased was a writer, excerpts from their own work carry a special weight that nothing else can match. Personal letters, journal entries, or even meaningful text exchanges can serve as deeply moving readings.

Some families create a printed program that includes the readings, song titles, and a brief biography or timeline of the deceased's life. This gives attendees something to follow during the service and something to take home as a keepsake. It also helps the event feel organized and intentional, which is important when there is no liturgical framework to provide structure.

How to Find a Secular Officiant

If you want a professional to lead the service, start by asking your funeral director for recommendations. Many funeral homes work regularly with certified celebrants and can connect you with someone experienced. You can also search the Celebrant Foundation and Institute directory or the American Humanist Association's celebrant network for qualified officiants in your area.

When interviewing potential officiants, ask about their experience with secular services, their process for getting to know the deceased and family, and what they charge. A good celebrant will meet with you to learn about the person who died, listen to your vision for the service, and then create a ceremony that reflects both. They should be willing to incorporate your ideas and adapt to your preferences.

If hiring a professional is not in the budget, consider asking a friend or family member who is a confident public speaker to lead the service. Provide them with a clear outline, suggested timing for each element, and written notes they can refer to. Having a structured plan will help even an inexperienced speaker deliver a meaningful ceremony.

Related Reading

• What Is a Celebration of Life
• What Is a Funeral Celebrant